Flashback: Worst Videogame Movie Ever — Super Mario Brothers
November 15, 2009 by Shawn Deena
Filed under Video Game Marketing
We’ve been lucky this year — We didn’t have a Max Payne, Doom or Hitman movie to groan at. Ninja Assassin only looks like a videogame movie and Prince of Persia well that’s….shudder … still to come. We did though have Gamer, which might as well have been a videogame movie. It had enough suck to get put into the cannon of craptaculars we’ve been witness to.
There’s no denying it, videogame movies have been train wrecks, disasters and all out utter wastes of film budgets and actors. And don’t say Tomb Raider doesn’t count because we all know why Tomb Raider made any money at all. Two words — rhymes with tangelina foley. There is though one videogame movie whose awfulness has not dissipated since it was first released more than 10 years ago. Ladies and gentlemen meet Super Mario Bros.
yes this is a real poster for a really bad movie
Oh the humanity!
Released in 1993 and starring actors most current 20 and under generation of film goers may not be all too familiar with (Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo and Dennis Hopper) the film was loosely based (emphasis on loosely) on the Nintendo game and followed the story of these two plucky Brooklyn brothers, Mario and Luigi (last name Mario — no really) who are dealing with this big bad mean dude named Scapelli who is trying to drive their plumbing business into the ground. Here’s where someone took the blue pill — through some ridiculous plot machinations involving a love interest named Daisy and something about a archeological dig for dinosaur bones by Daisy, she gets kidnapped and the brothers must chase her through a parallel world where people have evolved from dinosaurs. Keyword again, loosely based.
To continue explaining the plot would probably make your head hurt and in an attempt to somehow make this movie relatable to the game the screenwriters failed miserably. Actually they didn’t even succeed at making this relatable to anyone who wasn’t insane. Scratch that, insane people would even think this movie blows. Check out some of these choice screen shots …
High five for making the biggest mistake of our film careers
So I'm aiming this at my credibility as an actor right?
How Bad is Bad?
The actors hated — detested — this movie . Bob Hoskins, who played Mario, actually got some props for his performance but would you be proud of your acting skills in a movie where the lead villain King Koopa, looked like this? …
Oh did we mention the voice of Homer Simpson (Dan Castellaneta) narrated this masterful work of suck.
The film cost $42 million and made a whopping $20,915,465 — how it made that much is still a surprise.
It has the magnanimous title of being the worse videogame movie of all time by everybody from Game Trailers to Time magazine. So, no matter how bad the next videogame movie ends up being it will never be as bad Super Mario Bros.
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