| Set On Stun |

Apparently, Set on Stun and every other blog on the planet has been writing (and writhing) furiously about the Apple iPad announcement.  In the past few days, my partner Shawn and I have produced a few of those articles as well.

While I’m hesitant to add yet another article in the current cacophony of critical and complimentary yet credible connoisseurs of computing culture, I feel that I have yet to put my finger on why I simultaneously love and hate the Apple iPad.  I hate it because of what it is, yet I love it for what it could potentially be.

Why I Love the Apple iPad:

As my friend, mentor and former boss Thom Kozik noted in a past article, about my skepticism towards the Apple iPad, the revolution of the iPhone was not in the technology, the same could be said (and is being said) about the iPad.  He makes the point that

There’s an old adage in product design & marketing that the mass market will never recognize they need and thus will not demand, truly innovative products. I would challenge anyone to argue that they would have specified in some 2006 survey or focus group that what they *really* wanted was the kind of capabilities/functionality an iPhone user takes for granted (nay, is *addicted to*) on a daily basis. Design by committee doesn’t work here.

He goes on to describe the nearly imperceptible learning curve and its ability to “just work”.  In a sense, he described the brilliance of the Apple strategy.  They make products that they control to give people technology that fits the way they consume media (games, blogs, the internet, music, movies and more).  With the nit-picking of the iPad due to its lack of GPS, media outlets, Adobe Flash capabilities and many more, I realized that in my mind, I am looking at this device with the perception of a media creator.  I create things all day long, analyses, spreadsheets, articles and more.  I sit at my PC and I think, I work and I create.  With those lenses, I have judged the iPad and found it wanting.

However, after a brief IM with Thom and reading his response, I took a look at how I use my badly damaged iPhone and realized that the things I create with my iPhone is minimal.  The emails, texts, tweets and updates are minimal.  However, the media that I consume compared to what I create is staggering.

I sent 12 emails via my phone yesterday, read 12 blog posts, viewed 20 pictures, played 6 games, listened to music for 7 hours and watched over 10 videos.  The iPad would allow me to do that, and more (multitasking aside).

The iPad as a Media Consumption Product is Amazing.

As a content consumption device, it has flaws, but what I think Apple has figured out is not just what people consume on a mobile device, but how they consume media on that device.  The iPad version 1 will always be a test, it will find out what works and what doesn’t.  Patches will be added to update and upgrade the firmware, apps will be created to supplement and work around some of the idiosyncrasies.  Don’t even start talking to me about hating the iPad because of the “walled garden”  each gaming console is itself a walled garden.  I agree in principle, but the reality is that every popular manufacturer of content consumption (games, ebooks, music and movies) have some level of that baked into their process.

Why I Hate the Apple iPad

Simply put, for me, it’s superfluous.  I have consoles, both mobile and static… I have an iPhone, I have a laptop and the iPad is just one more piece of beautiful technology that doesn’t replace any of these items, doesn’t really do anything that these things do significantly better and has some drawbacks that I just don’t have to live with in the context of my current digitally mobile life.  I hate it because I’m attracted to it.  I want it… I want to play games, experience what I’m sure will be a new way to perceive and experience games.

That’s the crux.  All I see now is potential, the iPad is a platform that has a beautiful, yet flawed architecture that holds an incredible potential.  I can see that potential and I can see how Apple has designed this product to be iterative, to blend in with digitally mobile lifestyle and I can see how good it can be.

not mini-me -- biggie me

The answer isn’t entirely clear. To hear Steve Jobs say “It does way more than a smartphone” well that’s kind of obvious (and if it could, the IPAD would probably be a better phone) but what’s the point of this expensive gadget especially in a recession filled, unemployment ridden new decade?

This is not to deride or poke fun at the IPAD. Oh, no. The IPAD is a wondrous device but let’s think about this for a minute. We have smart phones, we have Iphones, we have iTouches, we have notebook PCs and yes we have tablet PCs. Granted there’s no Apple Tablet and one could assume that’s their motivation but really do we need this? Couldn’t the R&D team at Apple have used their monster brains to develop something else?

Out here in videogame land you now have a 10-inch screen to play the same games you already play on a tiny screen with your Itouch or Iphone (sans Tap Tap Revolution — do you really want to shake this thing?) but does this mean you have to buy the same games? From a marketing perspective it’s like Nintendo making a bigger DS  — why would they do that? We have enough agita with their new models of the same device. Speaking of which, do you  think Apple will stop with just one or two models of this thing? Check back  in three years.

We’re not going to regurgitate the tech specs because it’s an Apple product and it has all the stuff you would expect  it to have. For the casual gamers who have all this stuff on their iPod, iPhone or iTouch, the company says the iPad will be compatible but to restate the earlier question will you then have to buy them again like when you have to re-buy a CD from iTunes? Apparently you’ll also be able to surf the web, load photos and listen to music. So … it’s a bigger iTouch that costs twice as as much?

You remember the campaign for the iTouch right?

everything the new thing has except smaller

Now take a look at what currently graces Apple’s home page…

Notice what is says –unbelievable price. Really Apple? We’re supposed to think that the $500 base price for the 16GB model is a deal? Yes so when you’re done hanging out at the unemployment office line maybe you can go down to the Apple store and wait in line for one of these new gizmos.  Who’s the target audience for this? If it’s people with money then good luck with that. If it’s going after the handheld fans who have already spent chunks of of change for their other I-gadgets then we go back to the initial question that titles this post. And if it’s for that “floating in ambiguity between a smart phone and laptop buyer” then you can envision all those Best Buy and Apple store associates trying to explain why the iPad is better. It almost (almost) seems that Jobs thinks of the Apple consumer as a cat who likes shiny things and can be easily lulled into chasing this a new version of the same shiny new toy right into the store.

Cool new gadget worth spending money you don’t have or enough already Apple?

From Gizmodo’s liveblog.  I’ll take a look at the gaming aspects of the new Apple iPad.

So, there it is. The Apple iPad. "meh" so far unimpressed.... c'mon Jobs, bring on the games!

At this point, I’m watching the liveblog event on Gizmodo and within minutes, tweets and status updates are furiously scrolling past, “OMGZZORS will TEH Twitt3r Breakz?”  There are comparisons to Roman emperors and all sorts of fascinating geekery happening.  So far, nothing about the iPad and gaming.

Instant critique: It’s not widescreen formatted (lame)

Instant like: It supports HD even in YouTube.  (neat)

It looks good.. but no widescreen? WTF?

Some technical stats are in:

The iPad is 0.5 inches thin, weighs just 1.5 lbs, 9.7 inch IPS display.  It’s thinner and lighter than any netbook.  H.264 up to 720p @ 30 frames per second.  This part, I like.  However, it STILL seems like an amped up iPod touch.  Sound is done in glorious mono.. wait, what?  MONO?  I’m sure that stereo headphones fix that problem.

This is no surprise... but still good. Can it handle 2 handed multi-touch? How will that change gaming?

First look at the app store.  Calendars, Contacts and Maps.  No Games yet….

Urge to kill.... Rising... no games!

Alright, here are the games.  You can play in tiny mode or full screen with low rez.

I'm still in the "meh" territory.

Not bad. but not impressed.

GameLoft is on the stage and they’re showing the game Nova, which is already on the iPhone.  In this game, on the iPad, you can slide your fingers across to throw a grenade, you can slide the D-pad up and down the screen and potentially customize UI elements.

You can “interact with the game world in ways that weren’t possible before”.  Not sure what this means, but i’m sure its a more sensitive multi-touch.

Alright, I'm almost hooked. For this iPad specific game, it looks really nice and there are some interesting UI/ Touch capabilities.

EA is taking the stage:

EA is showing Need for Speed and it looks damn good (not as good as the Xbox or PC versions though)  but it’s better than the iPhone.  Basically, if you play an iPhone game really close to your face, then you get the idea.

Mingames and other aspects to MLB on the iPad.

Jobs said that the guys from EA only had a few weeks to put these together, “Imagine what they’re going to do in the next few months.”

I’m intrigued.  The iPhone did a lot to put gaming into a new, more casual and widely distributed audience, which significantly changed the game space forever.  With the larger capacity, more sensitive multitouch, the HD capabilities, the iPad should present an interesting challenge to game designers, developers and game enthusiasts.

@ferricide (from Gamasutra) tweeted:

“so hacky iPhone ports will be all over the app store at launch. devs: let’s think ahead instead.”

While it’s really cool, and there are some aspects of the iPad that I’m liking… it’s not a game changer.  It looks gimmicky (from a gaming perspective) the good thing: it’s bigger than a PSP or DS, it supports HD and will have massive gaming support.

The bad news is that it’s probably going to be prohibitively expensive and you’ll still have to deal with the draconians at the Apple App Store.  (just don’t say “fuck” in your app… as Trent Reznor learned).  Another thing is the excellent critique that the iPad is not a Mac, it’s a giant iPod touch and that it’s proprietary innovations stifle competition and boost up a business that’s become more closed than Microsoft.

Well, I think that the gaming section of the iPad is pretty much done.

Overall impressions: it’s an interesting and fairly useful piece of tech.  However, it seems to me to be the “segue” of computers.  It’s not a smart phone, it’s not a laptop, it’s in between.  It’s got some decent functionality, but I’m not sold.  I can easily predict that the games will be significantly more expensive and, at first, shittier due to the flood of ports.   I’m just not convinced that there’s a need or a vulnerability in the gaming world to accept this.

Lastly, it’s priced at $499.  Which is more expensive than any console… but considering, this isn’t just a console.  Overall, not a bad deal, most pundits were expecting closer to the $1,000 mark.

Doesn’t suck.  I kinda want one, but I don’t think this is going to revolutionize gaming or the industry in the same way that the iPhone did.  Not even close.  However, I still feel like a jerk-wad for saying “iPad” out loud.  I now remember how I felt saying “Wii” for the first few days.

Image Credits: Gizmodo

Update: They’re using AT&T.  Dammit.

Update 2: More detailed pricing structure from IndustryGamers.com

“The $499 model gives consumers 16 GB of storage, with WiFi built-in. Then for $599, the storage steps up to 32 GB, and $699 brings it up to 64 GB. A 3G model will cost an extra $130. So that means for $829 you can get a 64 GB model with 3G. “

Update 3: Gamasutra has a very good article on the gaming aspects of the iPad.

All you need is game

We’ve known it was coming for quite some time — Beatles Rock Band. What a lot of people don’t know is that this game has been in the works for years. Through the machinations of Harmonix, Dhani Harrison (George Harrison’s son) the surviving members of the band and a whole bunch of talented developers, artists and musicians we now have a game that will undoubtedly make millions. Would we be so excited if the game was just released on a Tuesday like so many thousands of games and it was just a regular old game release? Well that’s a ridiculous question since there was no way this would ever be a regular release.

Want to see the what a behemoth marketing monster looks like? Then all you need to do is look at the icon props at the bottom of the The Beatles Rock Band website…

what no Taco Bell props?

Impressive — the force is strong with them

Rock Band itself has already developed a solid brand over the last couple of years and the Beatles … well, yeah. So put the two together and you get a variety of game bundles all with the same game but extra stuff released on 9/9/09, number 9 …. number 9 …..

Behold — 21st Century Beatlemania

Forty-five songs, dlc already prepped to go, bonus tracks, clips and minutiae that would make Seinfeld cry. For the Guitar Hero/Rock Band generation and the kids that follow they get a chance to meet the Beatles in a way that doesn’t seem like drudgery for them along the lines of “Why do we have to listen to this?” (Watching endless videos or listening to their parents now CDs (used to be albums).  With all this going for it you would think that’s really all you need to do right? Nope. You would be wrong like the people who said this band would never amount to anything. Granted you’ve got a given audience of anyone who is a fan of the game and the band. Then you’ve got the oldy oldersons who will now have a chance to be a virtual Beatle. And last you have the demographic of the kids who think Ringo is some sort of stomach virus/tapeworm but love videogames and are willing to have a go at this version since they’ve probably heard so many of these songs.

EMI’s Game Marketing Machine, Marketing Machine, Marketing Machine

Let’s put aside the fact that VH-1 Classics has gone on autopilot featuring an ad for the game every commercial break including one featuring old rockers reminiscing about how much they loved the Beatles. Let’s instead talk about the fact the game is being released simultaneously the same time that the entire remastered catalog of the band is being released and sold everywhere. Then there’s the mono (audiophile geeks) versions of their recordings the way they were supposed to heard  — that’s up for purchase too. As for Beatles Rock band getting promoted, there as commercial spots on every channel outside of HGTV (althoug they may have bought time on there too), they’re running print ads, banner ads on the web, in store promotions, contests, release parties that put Halo 3 and GTAIV to shame and well — it’s kind of hard to avoid this Yellow Submarine running you over.

Say you want a revolution and a slurpee?

Microsoft even brought out the last two surviving Beatles to E3 this year to endorse the game, Dhani Harrison went on Late Night with Conan O’Brien to promote the game and every retailer from 7-11 to Whole Foods (that’s right Whole Foods) will be selling Beatles stuff. It would seem that EMI (the band’s label) has decided to take the notion of cross-platform marketing to new heights. Sure 7-11 okay, you go in grab a slurpee and a remastered copy of Abbey Road, but Whole Foods?  “We need a price check on Rubber Soul, price check…” Strangely, Itunes is blatantly missing from this list. Fear not, it would seem foolish for this rip in the Beatles space continuum to last too long.

Baby you can cash my cow

Despite the instant distribution vending machine we call the internet at their disposal it’s clear that the folks behind this marketing maelstrom  realize that it’s a lot easier to get fans of the Fab Four to pick up that cool looking video game set (complete with fake replica instruments) or sweet new sounding discs in shiny packaging while they’re shopping for pants at Target rather than online. Ironically big business and corporations like EMI have yet to figure out the secret to turning the internet into that money making cash cow that traditional retail has always provided when it comes to stuff like this. Downloading sure, but clearing monster sales like a videogame with a price tag that maxes out at $250? It’s not an easy feat. We’re getting there with things like games on demand and Steam which allows you to buy older games digitally but nothing the likes of this. What this massive promotion for a videogame and some new CDs  of music you already own does is raise the bar that was already set Halo 3 high a few years back. It also shows us what happens when you take some rock legends, a videogame and a mega promotion budget and mix them together.

By now, we’ve all seen Apple’s Mac vs. PC commercials. There’s Justin Long, the hip young and eternally helpful Mac guy, and then we have John Hodgman, the clueless but always trying PC.

When these ads started running, John Hodgman’s main claim to fame (to the public eye) were brief and hilarious spots on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.  We in the geek community were already fans of him, he’s always been one of us, he speaks our language, he tells our jokes back to us in new and fresh ways.  Yet as Apple’s spokesman for the PC, he looks exactly what Apple wants people to see the PC and ultimately PC users as (well, those of us who haven’t moved on to Linux, but keep a Windows box for gaming).  Apple presented John Hodgman as the PC as clueless, inefficient, desperate, roundish, not very hip and stuck in the past with visions that his crazy plans will somehow work.

Justin, as the Mac, is the opposite of Hodgman.  He’s hip, young, a little scruffy, generally approachable, helpful in his own “we can make the world a better place” attitude & he generally gets the nod from the women in the commercials.  Justin walks a fine line, and often crosses it, between being hip and helpful to just being smug.

That’s the rundown on the Apple commercials.  Yet in the minds of geeks, who really has more credibility?  Which one of these guys really get us?  At what point does the familiarity, genuine affinity and connection with John Hodgman, the actor/ writer/ comedian, turn into a advertising and marketing liability to Apple for portraying the PC?

Here’s John Hodgman:

The dude was a neuroscientist who operated on a Cylon’s brain in Battlestar Galactica.  I don’t know if I’ve ever written a sentence with such a high geek ratio in my life!  That sentence had 14 words, and 5 of them were pure geek.  That’s a 35.71% geek word ratio!  He’s the “resident expert” on The Daily Show, and he’s apparently friends with the likes of Jonathan Coulton (at least on Twitter).  He was in Coraline and Flight of the Conchords.   He was also the comedian who roasted Obama at the Radio & TV Correspondents’ Dinner and declared that Obama is a geek like us.  That’s a hell of a geek resume.

Justin Long on the other had was in the horrible movie Live Free or Die Hard.  While it was a brainless ’splosion flick which, in honesty was the Bomberman: Act Zero to Die Hard’s Bomberman.  It was so bad, that Penny-Arcade skewered it.

Granted, I give Justin some props for being in Idiocracy (update: and of course, as Superman’s gay lover in Kevin Smith’s Zack & Miri make a porno)… what a great movie that was.  But Justin just doesn’t seem to have the geek cred to really speak to us.

It’s become painfully obvious that the Apple ads were initially fresh, inherently viral and really damn cool.  But they’ve evolved into “maintenance mode” where we get the point Apple is trying to make, we’ve heard the jokes, we’ve seen the gags now and because Justin’s the counterpoint to Hodgman, Justin just appears to be more shrill and smug than clever and hip.  yet the affinity geeks feel for Hodgman (and not for Long) could actually be translating into seeing Hodgman (the PC) as the one we’re rooting for now.

On the surface, this seems to be fine.  Apple is not marketing to geeks, nerds, gamers or anyone who has an opinion on the Sci-Fi vs. SyFy channel name change.  Yet, what Apple is seeming to forget is that while they may be marketing to non-geeks, word of mouth marketing and recommendations from trusted friends still trump any and all forms of marketing.  Who do non-geeks ask for their recommendation when they’re about to buy a computer?  Their geek friends.  With this in mind, can Apple change the dynamic of the commercial?  Can they start a new campaign?

What if they turned Hodgman into a Mac convert, they can make it a big deal, it would continue the narrative and it would speak to people who are on the fence of changing to Mac.  The problem is, who would become the new spokesman for PC?

I’d suggest Ben Stein.  He’s already skilled at shilling his Nixon era economic experience to anyone who’d wave a dollar bill at him (Clear Eyes, the predatory FreeScore.com & the propaganda hack piece Expelled) He’s still recongizable and can be believable as a PC.  Slow witted, faulty logic, random crashes and outbursts… Ben Stein would be the perfect spokesperson for PC.  It would be hilarious to see both Hodgman and Long rip into Ben Stein as the PC.

But seriously, at what point does Hodgman as the PC become a liability to the Apple brand as he becomes more endeared to geek culture.  Apple needs to market to us.  We already know what their OS can do, and generally, we like it.  We bitch and moan about Windows, but it’s a powerful and versatile gaming platform that runs DX10.

So, Apple, you’ve done a great job in introducing this commercial, you’ve started an imitable iconography that we all get.  But you’ve done such a great job… and we recognize Hodgman as “one of us” that it might be time to recognize that we like Hodgman more and that could cause us to (not like PC more) but like Justin Long as the Mac less.

Until then, play nice you guys.